One day, when I was in high school, I made an important discovery. I was on my bed, crying dramatically about something (perhaps I just got dumped, or cut from a sports team, or my souffle had fallen). There was sobbing, flailing, tears streaming, when all of a sudden, I noticed that there was something positively delicious about being sad.
Have you ever noticed that allowing yourself to fully experience sadness feels really, really good?
If not, maybe you’ve been too scared to feel sad and you haven’t received the pleasure that’s hidden in sadness.
Here’s the thing about uncomfortable emotions like sadness. We spend a lot of energy avoiding them or suppressing them and so we’re never really able to receive the full benefits.
All emotions are valuable and have a purpose. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t exist.
Sadness is worth embracing for the following reasons:
1. A function of sadness is connection (as was brilliantly illustrated in...
Once, on a trip to Hawaii, my daughter Zoe, who was about 4 years old at the time, was jumping on the hotel bed. I told her to stop. She did, but she looked me in the eye and declared, “Mommy, you filled my heart with rage!”
I’ve been contemplating rage, as it seems to be a prevalent emotion these days. What are we supposed to do with rage as it surfaces in such giant waves? And why is it so tumultuous right now? And what’s the best action to take in the storm?
Let’s dive in.
1. What to do with all the rage?
There are ultimately 2 choices. Fight rage with rage by being against what’s happening OR be for what you actually want.
When you choose to fight against something, you create energetic tension, which then creates more energy towards what you don’t want.
When you choose to be for something, you create an opening for a new possibility. By embracing the uncomfortable, you can transmute it into love.
Mother Theresa said that...
As you may or may not know, I'm really fascinated by our relationship with Time (it gets a capital T here because it's kind of a big deal). Befriending Time is even one of the 12 Foundational Skill Sets of Courageous Self-Care.
How we interact with Time affects every second of our day, not to mention our life. It's an idea worth thinking about. It's also worth taking action to improve that relationship.
I've had some thoughts and observations recently that I wanted to share with you.
When my daughter, Zoe, was little, I had visions of us baking together because that's something I loved doing with my mom. Zoe, however, had zero interest in whipping up magical creations in the kitchen with me. I was disappointed for a while but then accepted it and carried on having my own baked goods fun.
Fast forward about 12 years, and to my surprise, Zoe LOVES being in the kitchen. In fact, she spent all of yesterday evening making healthy donuts, cookies and scones for her...
Last week, I shared some of my secrets with you (about book writing and one woman shows and such) and then I inserted a tremendous cliffhanger, saying that I still had secrets!
I know you've been waiting allllllll week to find out the other parts of my life, that until now, I've kept locked away, like Rebel Wilson in her stylish but creepy dungeon in The Hustle. (Not sure what I'm talking about? It's a new movie released on Mother's Day co-starring Anne Hathaway which made me laugh out loud multiple times. Kind of like Dirty Rotten Scoundrels mixed with girl power.)
Now. The Secrets.
Usually I work on something quietly and privately and then when it's finished and successful and ready to go, I tell people about it. It's a very safe way to do things because if I don't actually finish or something goes awry, you'll never know and I still look gooood.
Today is a day to do things differently. And courageously. I'm going to share with you something that is a big...
Did I tell you that I'm writing a book?
Well, actually 5 books.
I thought I was going to write one, and it's been percolating for a few years now, but as it turns out, it's going to be 5.
Here's what happened:
I was super gung-ho with my plans for the new year. I had visions and flow charts and pages of notes on how I was going to move forward with my online program, and coaching and so on.
I started working the plan.
My intuition (and my astute energy healer) informed me that my plan was not going to go as planned. You know the saying, "You make plans and God laughs"? Gales of cosmic laughter coming my way.
I joined in the laughter and released the plan. Very soon afterwards, a new idea came my way. A big idea. A very scary idea.
At first I kept it a secret because it seemed so audacious, but I've become friends with the idea and am feeling effusive about putting it out into the world. Want to know what it is? I'm assuming you're giving...
Gratitude changes everything. Here are some ways I've used gratitude to make my life better in the last few hours:
1. I was looking at an income statement and feeling like it wasn't very high. Then I switched my mindset to say, "I'm so grateful for that income. A year ago I would have done anything to have that regular income (well, not anything, which is why I didn't have regular income... I wouldn't go so far as to get a "regular job" or train circus animals or peddle vacuums on a street corner). So anyways, I switched to a thankful place, and immediately felt so good about that income.
2. My husband did the dishes this morning. Amazing, right? But my inner critic who is often a fanatical perfection-oriented German when it comes to things being spic and span kept spotting bits of food and grease on the "clean" dishes. It took some inner work, but I switched into the mindset of feeling grateful that my husband does dishes, got up early to do them and made breakfast...
When we moved to our new place (almost a year ago, so I guess it's not that new), one of the things I was most excited about was living right across the street from a huge sportsplex. There's simply no excuse not to use it and I've been loving it.
I anticipated that I would increase my fitness, which has happened, but I didn't realize it would help me in unpredictable ways. Here's a hidden benefit of spending time at the gym.
You can do really weird stuff and feel like you totally fit in.
Want to know some of the weird stuff I've witnessed?
• an athlete running on a track while pulling a giant heavy contraption fastened to her body with some sort of harness
• a guy making his way around the track by throwing punches in various combinations
• a dude running on a treadmill breathing very loudly, moaning intermittently and also yelling encouraging phrases to himself (and anyone else nearby)
• a contest to see who could balance the longest on a foam...
The other day, I posted on Facebook about an upcoming workshop I'm doing in Calgary, the Self-Care Pop Up. One of the comments that came back was a woman who said her ideal self-care would be getting a massage everyday.
While that does sound divine, it's one of the top mistakes I find that people make with self-care.
Let's say that self-care is a lotus flower. When you think of said lotus flower, what comes to mind?
I'm guessing the flower, right?
The same thing happens when we think of self-care. We tend to focus on activities that nourish our bodies, which is definitely a good thing. Buuuuut, it's not the whole thing.
The flower part of the lotus is only one aspect of its existence. It's the part that you can see and so it's that part that you focus on.
When you consider the other part of the lotus flower, it's definitely not as appealing. Under the surface, beneath the glorious, appealing, colourful eye candy, is the slimy, murky, convoluted ball of roots. Who...
Oh this being human... there's so much to learn. Take this morning, for example.
First of all, Paul (my beloved) and I slept through the alarm. That meant that there wasn't quite enough time to make the oatmeal I wanted. Paul suggested I make a tasty melange I've made in the past because it would be speedier.
It's this amazing blend of cooked apples in coconut oil, with peanut butter, and honey. Then it gets combined with other fresh fruit. Today's selection was mango, blueberries and capeberries (those tangy yellow berries that come with their own little leafy jacket). Finally, I planned to top it with the buckwheat and oat granola I made earlier this week along with some maple cinnamon coconut flakes. It was going to be so good!
I was happily bustling about, cutting the fruit and getting the bowls out, when I opened the lid to the apple pan. "Ohhhhhh noooooooo!" I cried out dramatically. "It's allllllllll burnt!"
The bottom of the pan was a crispy...