How to wrap things up before a transition

And here we are at the end of August. Does that make you shake your head in amazement/bewilderment too?

Since we’re approaching a transition (summer to fall and all that goes with that), I thought I would share with you a review that I did with Paul and the kids when we finished up the West Coast Trail. 

I was curious about what they’d discovered about themselves along the way so I devised a brief q&a that we did while we waited for a sushi dinner once we were back in civilization.

A good review is always valuable to gather information about how you’re showing up in life, reflect on it and then move forward in an informed way. It’s powerful to pause before venturing forth into the next day/week/adventure. 

Here are the questions we journaled about. Maybe you’d like to use them for yourself and/or your family as you move into the new season.

Question 1: What did you notice about yourself?

The reflection here is to get curious about how you showed up. Self-awareness is the only way we can keep what works and change what doesn’t. Otherwise, we’re just drifting through life making the same mistakes or missing the tremendous growth.

Some comments that showed up in our family:

*I am stronger than I thought 

*Anxiety and fear left as the trip progressed

*Hiking is meditative

*I can make friends regardless of the situation

*I can heal myself

*I didn’t make time to meditate like I had planned

*I like who I am without my phone

*I liked going to bed early and waking up early

*I’m good at receiving help

*It was peaceful to have nothing to do except look at the ocean 

Question 2: Based on the answers from #1, what would you like to keep?

In other words, what’s working for you and what do you appreciate about yourself. If something’s working, we want to keep doing it, right? It’s so much more likely to happen if you’re being intentional about it.

Question 3: Based on the answers from #1, what would you like to change?

If there are things about how you’re showing up that you notice aren’t working for you, it’s so valuable to write them down. It’s much harder to ignore behaviours that aren’t serving you when they’re right there on the page. 

Question 4: Based on the answers from #3, what’s the one thing you’re going to actively work on moving forward?

This is the action step. We choose only one thing so as not to get overwhelmed. We also made a plan on how to make that change and shared it with each other. 

After writing down each question, we shared the answers with each other. It was deeply connecting to hear what we had noticed about ourselves. As usual, I was surprised and delighted by the insights the kids had about themselves. 

It’s so much easier to see other people’s issues than your own so when I heard that they knew what was showing up, it helped me to know that they don’t need me to point things out that I think should change. Instead, it’s more beneficial to inquire how they are going to go about making the changes. 

As kids get older (ours are now 16 & 19), parents need to evolve into mentors. They don’t need us to show up like when they were little. They need support in reflection, problem solving, making plans and taking action. 

Paul and I are certainly not experts at the mentorship yet, but as the kids grow, our intention is to grow too. (I still find it challenging to not tell them to put on a hat in the sun or a coat when it’s cold though. Experience, after all, is the best teacher.)

That’s our little but powerful review. We got halfway through when the sushi arrived so then we left it for a few days. I was surprised that the kids kept asking when we would finish it. Eventually we found another pocket of time and did the third and fourth questions. 

I’m thinking it would also be valuable to check in with our review since it was now a few weeks ago and go through the exercise again. Chances are they forgot about the action plan :) 

May you have a week where you take some time to pause and reflect before charging ahead into whatever’s next.

With contemplative love and deliberate courage, 

Christina

>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>so grateful for the nectarines and peaches that are still available at the market

>celebrating the start of Grade 11 for Oakley this week - wowee!

I don’t spend much time on YouTube but this video crossed my path this week and I had to share it with my family so I watched it three times and cried every time (because I was so moved). 

It’s about a black leopard and large animal communicator, Anna Breytenback, who helped shift the animal from  snarling and ferocious to calm and relaxed. I felt a deep sense of awe with each viewing. 

If you’d like to see it too, here it is:

I love a song that transports me to a different space on all levels - physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

This week’s song does that very thing. It’s so atmospheric and it makes me feel so… haaa, like a giant exhale. 

It’s by Feist, a Canadian singer songwriter and guitarist who has such unique music. It’s called How My Heart Behaves and I think the message of the lyrics is perfectly applicable to today’s topic of growth and reflection. 

If you copy and paste:  

How My Heart Behaves by Feist 

into your search engine, you’ll find it on Youtube, iTunes, Spotify, Amazon and other streaming services as well. Enjoy.