A Reflective Ode to Anger

At one point, I thought it was not okay or acceptable to feel angry.

I hid it, suppressed it, ignored it.

The furthest I would go was to say to my kids with clenched lips, “Mommy’s upset.”

And that would be the end of that (I thought).

***

What I didn’t realize was that anger is part of the rainbow of emotions that make up our rich tapestry of experiences.

It’s okay - important even - to admit that we are not above anger.

I once met an elder named HawkMoon. He said with a glint in his eye, “I can meet the most pious, serene and peaceful of individuals who think it’s below them to feel anger. Within a minute, I can reveal what they’ve been denying.”

I thought about that a lot because, at that point, I didn’t allow myself to admit to feeling angry. Ever.

Around that time, I went to a healer before I really knew about healers. She told me that I plugged into the Universal Grid through anger.

I had no idea what she was talking about but I felt angry about it. (And then promptly suppressed it.)

Everything changed at an intensive speaker training I attended. One of the trainers knew right off the bat that I was holding down something monumental.

While onstage in front of my group, he told me to have a temper tantrum. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever had one of those,” I said. 

“I know,” he replied. “Have one now.”

So I did. And it felt both embarrassing and wonderful.

I really got into it. Legs flailing, fists pounding, head thrashing.

“Good! Good!” the trainer yelled. “Now pick your nose in front of us!”

I did that too. That was uncomfortable, to say the least.

“Now tell us why you’re angry! Who are you angry at? Yell it out! Tell us everything you’ve been holding in!”

A stream of language flowed from depths I didn’t know I had. Apparently, the well of anger ran deep and it was overflowing. 

For the first time, I felt the anger in front of others. I didn’t worry about repercussions. I just allowed anger to be okay. 

My group cheered for me. 

Later that night, when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognize myself. So much had shifted that I looked different. My eyes were so clear.

***

Anger goes by many names. 

Annoyed. Frustrated. Resentful. 

Critical. Bitter.

Irritated. Vexed (I learned that one from Anne of Green Gables.)

Exasperated. Enraged. Furious. 

Wrath.

Outrage. 

Once, my very wise husband invited me to share with him all the people I felt angry at. It felt scary and vulnerable, but I admitted that at one point or another, I had felt angry at my kids, my parents, my friends, my grandparents, my in-laws, and everyone else in my family.

I also felt angry at myself, at him, at teachers and mentors and at institutions like the government, healthcare, education and humanity as a whole. Really, no one was left off my list. I even felt angry at the Universe. 

His only reaction was to say that he was proud of me for letting him in and for telling the truth. 

It was another layer of liberation.

***

When people feel angry at each other, what’s really happening is a call for deeper connection. If they can work through the tension, something tender and precious awaits. I’ve found that to be true 100% of the time. 

Once I admitted to myself that it was okay to feel anger, it was allowed to run through me rather than stay stuck, buried and hidden away.

It’s important to be mature with anger, I learned along the way. It’s a-okay to feel angry. It is not okay to take it out on others. 

***

Anger is very mobilizing. It even helps you discover what’s important to you. 

What enrages you about the world? Your passion is hidden there. 

The most important thing to do with anger is to feel it, pay attention to it, accept it, love it and integrate it.

When anger gets integrated, it transforms into inspired action and passion. 

The most transformative experience I’ve had with anger was the breathwork session I did a few weeks ago. 

It was like a masterclass on the many facets of anger and all the while, the invitation was to breathe through it. I breathed and breathed and breathed. I felt and felt and felt. 

More freedom than I’ve ever known ensued. It was one of my favourite experiences of my life. 

(We’re doing that breathwork session together this month. Click here for details and to register.)

If we really want world peace, do you know where we need to start? With our own anger. 

Holding anger over ourselves or others, or shoving it down into the shadows ensures that chaos will continue. 

If we are serious about peace on earth, we must feel peace in ourselves first. That’s the place to start. 

***

Thank you, Anger. You’ve been a great teacher to me. 

You’ve shown me that the only path to freedom is through.

You’ve taught me that I don’t need to be afraid of you, I just need to pay attention to you and love you.

You’ve illustrated to me that connecting you with the breath helps to transform you into passion, power and action.  

I’m grateful that anger is one of the many parts of me because it makes me rich, whole and complete. 

Three cheers for Anger! (because all odes should end with cheering, I think).

May you have a week of acknowledging whatever has been hidden in the name of unconditional love for all your many parts.

With liberated love and deep courage, 

Christina

>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>believes that cashew cheese is a reasonable substitute

>often complimented on the perfect arch of her teeth (but only by her dentist)

PS - The Self-Care Sunday Series is going amazingly well. If you’re in Calgary and would like to immerse yourself in the best kind of self-care, the embodied kind that changes your life in the best way possible, click here to view the upcoming events featuring slow-flow yoga and 9D Breathwork. It’s so amazing to be in person. This week’s session is Releasing Stress and Anxiety. 

In case you need more encouragement, I can’t recommend this month’s 9D Breathwork Journey enough. 

Whether anger is a thing for you or not, it’s a powerful and useful experience. 

From Fury to Freedom unlocks whatever has been suppressed and helps you move through it, harnessing the immense power of anger while transmuting into energy that will help you take inspired action. 

Wowee. So good.

Click here for details and to register. 

There are two sessions to choose from and each will have 48 hour access to the replay. 

Scroll down to the section on the page that says This Month’s Virtual Sessions and you’ll find all the info there.

I recommend this breathwork journey with my whole heart. 

In Canada, we just celebrated Thanksgiving (a day just for gratitude! amazing!) and something I feel grateful for every day is the sun.

That’s why I’m sharing this song this week. It’s Sunlight by Hozier and it’s like an anthem to the sun. 

I think it’s stunning and gorgeous. 

Copy and paste Sunlight by Hozier into your browser and you’ll find it on your favourite listening platform. 

May you be uplifted and filled with gratitude as well.