This is what I do when I feel like doing nothing

Jun 08, 2021

A couple of Sundays ago, {{first_name}}, my family and I were making our plans for the day. We usually do our cleaning on Sundays and we were talking about some other things to do as well. My husband, Paul, said, “So what do you want to do today?” 

Many ideas flashed through my mind, but what came out of my mouth was, “I don’t want to do anything. I want to do nothing.” That was followed by a surprise visit of a cascade of tears that I didn’t even know were in there. 

Being the amazing guy he is, Paul said, “Well, why don’t you just do nothing? What does that mean?”

With trepidation, I shared what I would have rather kept secret because it felt embarrassing. In the spirit of authenticity, though, I said, “I just want to watch movies all day long.” I had never done that and it felt so… irresponsible. It also had a glimmer of deliciousness, though. Could I really give myself permission to lie in bed and...

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How to not try so hard and still get results

Jun 01, 2021

Have you ever thought, “Well, I guess I just need to work harder to get what I want?”

Probably. The generation before us was all about hard work. And it served them pretty well (apart from the self-care bit).

So, what if you’re exhausted, on the verge of burnout? Do you really think working harder is the solution?

It’s not. It’s not even about working smarter. It’s about getting the same or even better results with more ease and flow. Doesn’t that sound better?

Wouldn’t you love to get better results by doing less?

Here’s a little story to illustrate my point.

 

In March I did some work for an organization and sent them an invoice, as requested. They said they would submit the invoice for payment immediately.

A week went by and… no payment. Another week, same thing. I started feeling annoyed. And then it escalated to angry, so I increased my efforts to collect the money. I sent some inquiry emails and was assured...

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What are you waiting for?

May 25, 2021

Do you know one of the most significant challenges I hear from my clients?

Prolonging their happiness.

Of course, they don’t say it like that. Most often, they don’t even realize they’re doing it.

Instead, they say things like:

  • I’m soooo busy!
  • It never feels like I’ve done enough
  • It feels like there’s something missing
  • I don’t know how to slow down
  • My to-do list just keeps getting longer!

What’s going on is that they’re waiting for “someday” to allow themselves to feel happier. 

When I have more money saved, then I’ll be happier.

When I fit into my clothes, then I’ll be happier.

When I’m eating the way I should, then I’ll be happier.

When I have more free time, then I’ll be happier.

When my relationships with my kids/spouse are better, then I’ll be happier.

When I’m healthier, then I’ll be happier.

Do you see the insidious problem there?

Things are never going to...

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Do you believe this about comfort zones?

May 18, 2021

I was coaching a client last week and she brought up something really important about comfort zones. After her session, it came up with several other clients too, and it seems like it’s a thing. When something is a thing, I think it’s important to look under the rock and see what’s going on.

First, the misperception. Have you ever heard the expression: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone? 

Here’s the actual quote I just discovered: “You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”― Roy T. Bennett

Now we know that it was Roy who said it first. Thanks Roy!

Here’s another one: “The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun.”― Benedict Cumberbatch

In my quick little bit o’ research for comfort zone quotes, there was definitely a vibe, essentially stating that if you want to be...

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The missing key to a fulfilling life

May 11, 2021

I talk to so many clients who are incredibly productive. They set and achieve amazing goals. They’re on the go from morning to night doing both work-type activities and self-care type things like yoga, meditation, eating well and so on. On paper, you would think they have it all. From the outside, their lives look perfect.

And yet, they tell me that there’s something missing. They’re on a mission and they’re living their purpose, but as soon as they accomplish something (like writing a book, getting a million hits on their podcast, landing a new dream client, exponentially increasing their income, selling a home, completing a certification or expanding their team), they say, “Ok! What’s next?”

Can you tell what’s missing? I won’t keep you hangin’... it’s self-acknowledgement and celebration. These two practices are absolutely critical if you want to feel fulfilled, valued and appreciated.

Here’s the thing,...

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Great Expectations?

May 04, 2021

So, I was out for a run a few days ago (and trust me, when I say those words - I was out for a run- it’s like a miracle, no matter how many times I say it, because I really heavily and intensely avoided anything to do with running for a good 3 decades). 

Anyways, I was out for a run and there was a small portion of it that had a really big impact on me. I thought it would probably be helpful for you too. Here’s what happened.

There’s this beautiful route that I run on next to the Elbow River in Calgary. We’re talking scenic rapids, sunlight glinting on water, Canada Geese and Mallard ducks bobbing through the waves. There was even a beaver last week! Gorgeous. (Not the beaver… it looked suspiciously like an R.O.U.S. from the Princess Bride and it felt highly likely that it could attack at any moment.) The route is what’s gorgeous.

Along this river trail, there’s a long stretch of pathway that’s broken up by an intersection....

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What to do with a “bad” day

Apr 27, 2021

Earlier this month, I had what an older version of me would have labelled a “bad day”. Let me show you why I wouldn't call it that these days.

First off, I do my best not to use the word “bad” anymore. That way… no bad days!  (Yes, this probably sounds over-simplified, but it’s actually really effective.)

If you think about it, “bad” is just an undescriptive word that carries an energy we don’t want to perpetuate, so it’s worth considering giving it the old heave-ho.

Now, here’s what happened that day.

I opened my email in the morning to find out I had been rejected. Ouch! (That’s what my ego said.) Immediately my mind wanted to make up all sorts of stories, so I noticed that tendency and did some breathwork around the feelings of hurt. I also kept turning my thoughts away from the incident. It took a lot of concerted effort, and I endeavoured to stay persistent with it. (And when I say persistent, I mean...

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This Is How You Get Clarity

Apr 20, 2021

It feels like clarity is up right now. And that’s because when you have clarity, it makes all the difference in your quality of life. At least that's what I've noticed.

When you have clarity, you tend to:

>feel purposeful

>get more out of life

>have higher quality adventures

>experience more flow

>see challenges for what they really are (hint: growth opportunities)

Here’s an example. Aka Story Time!

In January, I got the sense that it was time to move out of our current home. For the last 3 years, we’ve chosen to live in a lovely, luxurious, intimate condo. Our kids share the master bedroom, Paul and I have the other room and then we have our kitchen, living room and dining room. We moved here for quality of life because it’s right by the river, next door to a world class fitness facility and Paul and the kids could all walk/bike to school/work. We’ve loved it… I mean, there’s even a car wash in the heated parkade....

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The Top 4 Mistakes People Make When Trying to Get Clarity

Apr 13, 2021

So… you want to live your purpose, make a real contribution to the world and feel fulfilled while doing it, but you don’t feel like you have enough clarity to make a solid choice and so you stay stuck, wracked with doubt and uncertainty. And who wants to live there? When it comes to getting clarity, there are definitely some do’s and don’ts. We’ll call the don’ts “mistakes” for now. 

Are you making any of these top 4 clarity mistakes?

Mistake #1: Many people don’t get what they want out of life, because they never actually take time to determine what it is that they want. The average adult spends more time researching their next television purchase or planning their upcoming holiday than they do determining what will actually make them happy, fulfilled and satisfied, outside of TV watching and vacations.

Clarity requires devoted time. If you’re hoping it will happen on its own, to put it bluntly, it won’t.

The...

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Beginning to See the Light (and not just because we had the Equinox)

Apr 06, 2021

Back in the days of yore, my main gig was being a Norwex consultant. I taught people, very enthusiastically, how to clean without chemicals and I was really good at it. We’re talking Top 10 in Sales in North America 3 years running, along with cruises and trips to Hawaii. Good times.

Eventually what I learned from that experience was that I could more or less effectively run my own business. The Norwex chapter closed and gradually (and when I say gradually, I mean like an ancient tortoise ambling down one of those long, empty desert roads, which I realize is improbable, but it is the exact pace I want to convey to you), it evolved into Courageous Self-Care.

I still take orders for Norwex and I passionately use the products. There’s one particular item that people rave about. It’s called the Descaler and it’s amazing for shower doors to get them crystal clear and scale-free.

I always have a bottle of it in my cleaning supply cupboard, and I know how epic it...

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