The Problem with I'm Sorry

A great deal of Courageous Self-Care involves the words we choose to think and speak.

When we're aware of the words we use, we can significantly change our vibration, because words are incredibly powerful.

Each word, whether thought or spoken, has its own vibration, meaning that it resonates with energy.

If we constantly think and speak words with a low vibration, such as coarse language, we're actually draining our energy and putting out a low vibration frequency.

Because like attracts like, whatever energy we put out comes back to us, so we then attract people and situations that reflect that low vibration back to us.

Conversely, when we choose higher vibration words to affirm to ourselves and to share with others, we then experience more situations and people who fill us up with positive energy.

For example, consider the phrase, "I'm sorry." I'm all for using it as a sincere form of apology, but many people, especially women tend to apologize as a habit.

They utter the phrase "I'm sorry" continuously as a way of making themselves smaller and dimming their light.

I was recently at friend's house and she kept needlessly apologizing. 

"I'm sorry my house is a mess!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't offer you anything!"

"I'm sorry this is taking so long."

If felt like she was apologizing for being alive.

Is there an alternative to "I'm sorry"? Could my friend have said something different and still expressed herself authentically?

Absolutely. And you're in luck, because I'm going to share it with you!

There are so many times we could say "thank you" instead of "I'm sorry". Using the examples above, I've shifted them into thank you statements:

1-"Thank you for understanding that I have a lot on the go right now and that my house hasn't been my top priority."

2-"Oh my gosh, I didn't offer you anything! Thank you for being so patient and polite!"

3-"This sure is taking a long time... Thank you for hanging in there."

The fundamental difference is that when we needlessly use "I'm sorry", we're seeking affirmation and energy from the other person and we're giving away our own power.

When we say thank you instead, we are honouring ourselves and the other person.

We give the gift of self-acceptance to ourselves by acknowledging that although we may not be perfect, we can love ourselves anyway and be gentle with the words we choose.

Coming back to the example of the house, when we say "I'm sorry my house is a mess," we're also saying something like "I'm a failure, I can't even keep my house clean."

Saying thank you instead sends the message, "I have a lot of exciting stuff on the go and I release the need to impress you with my immaculate home."

When the speaker chooses "thank you" over "I'm sorry", the receiver doesn't have to fix anything. When my friend apologized for her home, I had to reassure her that it didn't matter to me, that my house was the same way and that she was still a good person. With her statement, she made me responsible for building her back up.

When "thank you" is used instead, the speaker isn't trying to get anything from the receiver. Energetically, it's a better exchange all around.

Notice in the 3 examples of thank you mentioned above, the speaker gives a compliment to the receiver.

1-you're understanding

2-you're polite

3-you're persistent

Not only is the speaker being more gentle with herself, she also gains and gives extra energy by acknowledging the receiver. It's a double dose of high vibration!

Next time you feel compelled to apologize for no good reason, see if you can change it into a high vibration experience by turning it into a thank you instead.

Please note that saying "I'm sorry" can be a deeply ingrained habit, so be gentle with yourself. You may catch yourself after you've already said I"m sorry".

If that's the case, simply say, "Oops! I'm working on saying thank you instead of I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that."

As it becomes more natural, you'll notice a significant difference in your energy and in the energy of people receiving your words.

To wrap things up here, notice the energy between the two following closing statements:

I'm sorry this post was so long.


Thank you for reading all the way to the end. Your persistence is remarkable!

Huge difference in how they make you feel, right?

Now go out there and experiment with the power of Thank You.