Rejection, Detachment and My Wedding Dress Giveaway

Uncategorized Dec 14, 2021

I have a story for you that involves rejection, detachment and a deep learning. I’ll also be sharing how you or someone you know can get my handmade wedding dress, if you’re interested. First, the story.

Like many women, I’ve had my wedding dress hanging in my closet for a long time. 20-some years to be sort-of precise. It’s come along on 4 different moves. As someone who’s done a lot of decluttering, it felt a little funny to keep it, but that’s what I’ve done up until now.

Towards the end of November, a request came from our local theatre for wedding dress donations for an upcoming show. I waited until the very last day to make my decision and then came to the conclusion that I was ready. I emailed that I would donate it. A reply came back that they had all the donations they needed, so that was rejection #1. It wasn’t harsh, but it meant that I needed to find another way to pass on my beautiful gown.

(By the way, I made my dress myself. Then I made 2 bridesmaid dresses in the same style. By the time I was done sewing the trio, I never wanted to make another item again, although I did make my sister’s wedding dress and then a friend’s. After that, I was certain that I didn’t like sewing. At all.)

My next idea was to consign the dress. I found a local boutique that does that very thing and followed their procedure to submit a proposal to see if they would “add my dress to their collection”. Rejection #2 came, and that one felt more personal. In my closet, I said to my dress: We were rejected :(

My dress didn’t seem to mind.

My next idea was to simply donate it to the Goodwill, but something didn’t feel quite right about that option. 

Here’s what I came to understand.

For all the years that the dress has been hanging in my closet, there was no impetus to let it go, because no one needed it. That’s why no action was taken and no ideas about its release came to me.

Now, though, someone out there is looking for this dress. They may not know it yet, but there’s a pull that I’m feeling and it’s coming from that someone. My role is to find the path to that person. 

When I had the inspiration to donate it, I was tuning into the pull, but that wasn’t the way the person who needs this dress was going to find it. Same thing with the consignment idea. Not the right path, and that’s what helped me detach from the feelings of rejection. 

The Goodwill didn’t feel quite right either, and that’s because the person who is supposed to have this dress may not go to the Goodwill where it would have ended up. I opened myself up to ideas to see what to do.

In meditation one day last week, I had the idea to do a Wedding Dress Giveaway and that felt absolutely amazing. So here we are! I’m putting my idea into action because it feels great and fun and exciting. 

And that’s such a great lesson for going through life. When we feel the pull of something, whether it’s the desire for a new job, a romantic relationship, a course to be taken, or whatever, it’s because there’s something or someone on the other side. Our role is to follow the inspiration, using our feelings as the guide. And then take inspired action.

If there’s rejection along the way, it’s not personal, it simply means that you haven’t found the right someone or something that’s causing the pull. It’s another opportunity to open even more for the next bit of guidance.

So let’s get down to business. I have a beautiful handmade wedding dress and I would love to give it to you or someone you know who needs it. Obviously, it’s been worn once. It’s been dry cleaned since then and it’s excited to move along to its next owner.

I must say that the dress carries some very good vibes - my husband and I have been happily married for 23 years (I think… could be 24… it’s hard to keep track at this point.)

There are some pictures below, both from my wedding and more recent so you can see the details. It’s made of sueded silk, which feels amazing. It’s a size 8 (feel free to make any alterations you need). There’s a detachable silk train, a hair piece with a veil attached and the bottom of the dress itself has a train that can be hooked up for dancing and other such merriment.

I don’t want payment for it. All I ask is that if you would like it, that you pay for the shipping, which we can set up through Paypal. I'm not attached to what happens to the dress. Maybe it walks down the aisle again, maybe it lands in a costume bin. Perhaps it becomes part of a drama department collection. Whatever it ends up doing, it will be so happy to go on the next part of its journey.

The Dress

The Front

The Back (it took so long to sew all those buttons on!)

The Headpiece/Veil-Thing

The Train in all its silken glory

How to Get the Dress

If you’re interested, please send a reply email with a few sentences about why you would like the dress on or before December 20th, 2021. If more than one person is interested, I’ll leave it up to the Universal Decision Maker and do a draw. If your name is drawn, I’ll email you back. If you don’t get an email, you can trust that it went to the person who needs it.

If no one wants it, then off to the Goodwill it goes :)

So there you go: Rejection, Detachment and a Wedding Dress Giveaway. If you know of someone who would like the dress, please feel free to forward this message. If you want the dress, please don't be shy. I really want to let it go. 

Last week I promised to say more about the upcoming Year End Retrospective and Conscious New Years live virtual events I’m hosting in the last week of December. The wedding dress thing took precedence, so I’ll tell you more next week. If you’re keen to finish the year off with celebration, self-acknowledgement and clarity, you can click the links below to learn more. Otherwise, I’ll share in more detail next time (unless something else from my closet wants to leave).

I hope this message finds you exceptionally well and that it sparked something in you. 

With connected love and creative courage,


Creator of Courageous Self-Care

Maker of 3 Fine Wedding Dresses and No More

Happily Married for 23 (or 24) Years (It was 1998, feel free to do the math if you like)

PS - The Links: Year End Retrospective / Conscious New Years Eve Celebration