How to Worry Less

Uncategorized Oct 13, 2020

If you tuned in last time, you’ll know that the topic of discussion was dealing with the unknown. If you didn’t read last week’s message, then I guess it’s still unknown to you (hee hee). Click here to read it now. Then you won't have FOMO.

Did you happen to ponder how you deal with the unknown? Another way of asking that question is to consider how much time you spend worrying. Ruminating and stressing out are the most popular ways of dealing with the unknown, if you haven’t yet trained your mind.

I love the saying that worrying is like rocking very exuberantly* in a rocking chair with the expectation of getting somewhere. It’s a whole lot of effort with no results. (*the exuberant part is my own wording… most sayings don’t use that fancy word, but I like the mental picture it creates… exuberant rocking.)

Ok, I just checked the original quote, and it looks like my own saying is way off, even without the juicy adverb. Here’s the actual quote:

Plus that version rhymes!

So, we’re agreed that worrying uses up a lot of precious energy, right? That’s not all though. Worrying is also a misuse of your imagination. If you’re going to spend time imagining things, they might as well make you feel great; not terrified or anxious.

Here’s where we come to part 2 of last week’s story. 

As I mentioned previously, my daughter is currently filming the Netflix series, Black Summer. She had a small role in Season 1 and then her role expanded to a lead in Season 2 ( so, SO exciting!) 

Filming began in February of this marvellous year and then came to an abrupt halt in March. It started up again in September, thanks to 18 pages of new health and safety protocols. It’s quite the operation. There are COVID officers in elegant blue and yellow vests who wander around the set making sure everyone is following the 18 pages of rules and there are full-time cleaners who scrub everything in sight. They also get the eye-catching vests.

Filming had been going quite smoothly until the night my son, Oakley, said, “My throat is sore.”

I did my best to ignore his comment. (I still sometimes mistakenly believe that denial works well.) He gargled with oil of oregano and did a neti pot (our go-to stay healthy tricks) and we left it at that.

The next morning, he said it again and a blade of fear stabbed my heart. If he had THE FLU, what would that mean for Zoe? Would she be allowed on set? What if she got it too? Would they cancel production? The rocking chair in my head started accelerating. Intensely Exuberantly.

Then I caught myself. It wouldn't do any good to spend time thinking those thoughts. Worrying wouldn’t change anything. We were entering the Unknown, and I decided to trust that everything would work out even better than I expected. 

(That’s one of my favourite mind-calming mantras; This situation is turning out better than I ever could have imagined.)

Since your thoughts cause your feelings, it’s good to notice what you’re thinking as often as you can.

Reluctantly, I contacted one of the producers and told her that my son was sick and we didn’t know what it was. I asked if there was the possibility that Netflix could put us up in a hotel (which, on its own, was a huge leap for me to ask such a bold question!) She put me in contact with the head nurse, who said Oakley would have to get tested and that we couldn’t go home.

Arrangements were made at lightning speed, and Zoe and I found ourselves in a gorgeous suite at the Sheraton downtown with access to room service and a meal stipend for as long as we needed it.

As is almost always the case, in my experience, things did indeed turn out better than I ever could have imagined.

Zoe and I felt like royalty while we were there. We were definitely living the high life! 

In my opinion, there’s a direct correlation between how this situation turned out and the habit I’ve cultivated in trusting the Universe.

The bottom line is: no matter how things turn out, I’ve decided that I’m going to trust that awesome things will happen as a result. Because I believe that, it’s true! 

That’s how your beliefs work. 

I could also have spent a lot of time worrying about my son, but I chose to trust that everything was fine. Within a few days, we got word of his negative test result, so back home we went. (That’s the happy ending I was waiting for when I wrote to you last week.)

When you worry, you put out a vibration of stress and anxiousness. That means you bring more situations to yourself that vibrate at that same level. You literally become a stress magnet.

Conversely, when you choose to trust that everything will work out for the best and for your highest good, you dramatically reduce your suffering. That’s how you create more peace and relaxation when you’re in the unknown. Plus, more awesomeness comes your way because you’re vibrating far above the level of stress and worry.

How do you go from worrying to trusting?

You have to become the master of your mind, rather than letting your mind be your master.

When you notice yourself starting to rock back and forth somewhat exuberantly in that rocking chair of stress, you must become as strong and powerful as Gandalf when he resolutely declares to the beast in the Fellowship of the Rings: YOU SHALL NOT PASS.

That’s how strong you have to be with your thoughts. You must summon all your power.

If worrisome thoughts swarm your mind, say, “Cancel!” or “You’re not welcome here!”, or my personal favourite: “X on that!” (I imagine drawing a red circle around a thought and then strike through it with a big red X: X on that!) It’s weird but it totally works. 

Then, as you tear your attention away from the low-vibe thoughts, you choose new ones that elicit better feelings.

Here’s a peek inside my brain using last week’s events as an example:

What if Zoe tests positive for THE FLU? What if she can’t work anymore??? What if they have to shut down production because of her???? WHAT IF!?!?!?!?!?

Hang on. Hold your horses. X on that!

What if Zoe’s fine? What if Oakley’s also fine? What if everything continues as normal?

This situation is turning out even better than I ever could have imagined.

This situation is turning out even better than I ever could have imagined.

This situation is turning out even better than I ever could have imagined.

Deep breaths. >>> Feel better within minutes.

You too can use this magical process to worry less and trust more. Simply insert your own what if’s and away you go. You’ll be high vibing in no time!

And here’s the thing: the less time you spend worrying, the greater your contribution to a swift recovery from all the events of 2020. If you worry and stress, things will stay the same or even get worse. If you bring your energy and attention to trusting in the unknown and knowing that incredible good will come to you, that’s what will happen.

Because that’s how the Universe works. 

With heaps of love and great gobs of courage,