How do you feel about the Unknown?

Uncategorized Oct 06, 2020

How do you feel about the unknown?

As we discussed last week (or rather, I discussed and you read), times are weird

Have you noticed that you feel a little lost? Or perhaps you’ve observed that you’re feeling a distinct decrease in your sense of control. 

With all the energetic shifts lately, as a human collective, we’re being called to rise to some new challenges.

One of the main invitations for us right now is to get more comfortable with the unknown.

Many people live in a state of low-grade worry and fear, when it comes to the future. We’re often taught that bad things could happen in the upcoming weeks/months/years, and so the most logical response is to be distrustful and vigilant. The world is out to get us, so it’s a good idea to plan for the worst and control as much as we can.

Wow. When it’s down in writing like that, it seems pretty intense, doesn’t it?

If that’s your current way of being, do you really want to continue along that vein? Or is it time to develop more trust, in both yourself and the Universe (or whatever word you like to use).

Here’s the thing. You get to choose how you feel about the unknown. And since you’re at choice, you might as well decide that we live in a benevolent place that is supporting your personal evolution at every juncture. Because that’s what’s actually happening.


To illustrate the point, here’s a reflection on some of my recent personal experiences as they relate to the unknown.

I may or may not have told you that my daughter has a lead role in a Netflix series called Black Summer. (Zombie Apocalypse, anyone?)

She started filming Season 2 in early 2019, back when things were oh-so-simple. Then, of course, there was a bit of a break. Enter… the unknown. A lot of things were up in the air (a familiar expression we use to describe the unknown). Would the filming continue? If it did, then when? And how? Would we get much notice, or would we find out weeks in advance? There was no way to plan for whatever would or wouldn’t happen.

We took it as a good sign that Zoe continued to get paid, so we were pretty sure that it would start filming again. We kept talking about how we just had to trust that everything would work out, especially when doubt creeped in and it got hard. We also made a verrrrryyyy long paper chain and made guesses about when Black Summer would start up again. Zoe took a loop off each day as a sort of countdown. 

Eventually we got word that things were gearing up again to start shooting the show (oh happy day!). AND, it was at the exact same time that Zoe was supposed to start high school. She had been super excited to make new friends but with all the safety protocols in place from Netflix, we were advised to go with an online version of school. 

Enter: Another opportunity to trust in the unknown.

Things weren’t exactly working out according to our carefully laid plans, so we got to practice surrendering and trusting that behind the scenes, the Universe had our backs.

Since Zoe is 15, she needs a full-time guardian on set (that's me!). I love this role, and, at the same time, I do a lot of my own work. I coach for Courageous Self-Care and Your Year of Miracles and also have other roles there and with Yes to Success. I had no idea how I was going to be able to support Zoe on set and do the work I love doing.

I could have stressed out about it, but instead, I chose to trust that there was a solution. I sat for guidance several times, and on the 3rd round, the answers poured in. 

It seemed like I had this trust in the unknown thing down pat and I was feeling pretty proud of myself for continuing to go with the flow. 

Enter: The Unknown; Squared

Two crazy new opportunities showed up. 

Background info for Opportunity #1:

Zoe and I both need to get nasal invasion tests (aka COVID tests) every Monday and Thursday morning as per Netflix protocols.

Last Wednesday night, I got a call from a producer saying that Zoe’s test had come back inconclusive. She said it was probably due to not enough “sample” on the swab. However, Zoe wouldn’t be able to go back on set until she had a definite negative result. STRESS! 

The ‘what if’s’ definitely tried their best to crowd my brain and I worked very hard to keep them out.

Thursday morning was spent rearranging my schedule so we could get new tests in time to get them on planes to BC and Ontario and have the results hopefully by Thursday evening.

We drove out to the test site, got the swabs (that made us both cry and sneeze) and then went home to await the results. The hours ticked by, but no word came of whether we would be able to go back to set on Friday. Every time my phone beeped or rang, my heart leaped, but still no news. 

Zoe’s call time on Friday morning was 9:30, but that came and went. We did all sorts of practices to keep our minds calm. We meditated and did our Daily Energy Routines. I did breath work and Ho’Oponopono. I sat for guidance and journaled. I practiced feeling the relief and gratitude I would feel when we were back on set. And we watched plenty of Friends.  

It was excruciating and enlightening at the same time.

After several hours, I had an idea to do a gratitude exercise with Zoe, and since she IS a teenager, I framed it as a game that she probably wouldn't like, but that we were going to do anyway, for a very brief time. 

We took turns saying: This is good because… and then we filled in the blank. After a few sarcastic tries, she got the hang of it, and came up with some very poignant answers. We both got super grounded in the fact that what we were experiencing was a VERY first world problem.

Within a few minutes of completing the game, we got the call that we were good to go. Phew!

I was pretty proud of myself for using my tools to go with the flow and surrender control. An older version of me would have totally fixated on all the potential disasters, but the new and improved version only went there very briefly, and was able to enjoy (most of) the experience.

Ok, I do want to tell you about Opportunity #2, but this post is already pretty long. I know how attention spans are these days, even when the stories are as riveting as this one. We’re going to make this a 2 part-er, and next time, I’ll share this week’s adventures in filming during pandemical times.

For now, let’s recap the embedded messages from the Nasal-Swab-Potential-Catastrophe-Incident.

Main Points about Improving your Relationship with the Unknown: 

  1. You get to choose whether to trust or not to trust in the unknown.
  2. Prior to the Great Pause, we had the misconception that we are in control. Ha Ha Ha.
  3. Sorry. You’re not in control, and the sooner you can learn to surrender and go with the flow, the easier life will be.
  4. We can’t just make plans with our little minds; we have to use our intuition to get guidance that’s in alignment with our highest good. 
  5. If our plans don’t work out, we can choose to trust that something even better is on its way.
  6. When you’re feeling stressed or worried about the future, there are tools and practices that will help you feel more calm and peace.
  7. One such tool is the “This is good because…” game. 
  8. Friends is another good tool. Laughter is a stress antidote.
  9. There’s always a silver lining. You just might not see it yet.
  10. You can get teenagers to do weird stuff that helps, as long as you acknowledge that it’s weird.

Much love and courage to you,