Why Self-Care Can Be Confusing (and how the lotus flower can help)

Uncategorized Apr 27, 2019

The other day, I posted on Facebook about an upcoming workshop I'm doing in Calgary, the Self-Care Pop Up. One of the comments that came back was a woman who said her ideal self-care would be getting a massage everyday.

While that does sound divine, it's one of the top mistakes I find that people make with self-care.

Let's say that self-care is a lotus flower. When you think of said lotus flower, what comes to mind?

I'm guessing the flower, right?


The same thing happens when we think of self-care. We tend to focus on activities that nourish our bodies, which is definitely a good thing. Buuuuut, it's not the whole thing.

The flower part of the lotus is only one aspect of its existence. It's the part that you can see and so it's that part that you focus on.  

When you consider the other part of the lotus flower, it's definitely not as appealing. Under the surface, beneath the glorious, appealing, colourful eye candy, is the slimy, murky, convoluted ball of roots. Who wants to go there?

It's the same thing with self-care. The body seems like the obvious choice to expend our self-care efforts on with massage, pedicures, exercise, healthy food choices and so on. 

It's not so appealing to delve under the surface and start to unfurl the tangled root ball. But it's soooo important. Because you can get a daily massage, but if you have habits like living in perpetual chaos, or taking out your anger on your loved ones, or beating yourself up for mistakes you make, your body will feel good while the rest of you suffers in silence. (Well, it probably won't feel that good because those habits live in our bodies as energy and all the massage in the world won't make them go away.)

That's why I call it Courageous Self-Care. It takes courage to examine the murky unknown part of ourselves. It's much more fun to live on the surface and admire the flower. Under the surface is where the magic happens, though.

I've had clients who didn't have to go for as many massages and body work, because once they dealt with what was happening in those murky waters, their bodies were able to let go of the pain and constant tension.

Last thing. When going into unchartered territory, it's best to go with a guide. You wouldn't try out scuba diving on a lark, would you? No. You would find an expert, learn how to use the equipment and take lessons. 

Same thing with self-care. You hear a lot about self-care in the media, in books, as recommendations from doctors and so on, but it's often just a vague concept, or a passing comment. That's what's different about Courageous Self-Care. It's a step by step system that teaches you the 12 foundational skill sets of self-care.

So how can you access the info and learn about the skill sets? One place is the Courageous Self-Care Podcast. Over the past year, I've broken down each skill set and recorded several episodes with strategic actions you can implement immediately. Score!

If you're in Calgary, and you're looking for a more personalized and immersive experience, we've got the Self-Care Pop Up coming up on Saturday, May 4th. I'm joining forces with Ramona Remesat, who specializes in helping you connect with your intuition so you can use it like an inner GPS. She'll be doing the morning session and in the afternoon, I'll be helping you shift your relationship with time, so that even when life is busy, full and seemingly chaotic, you'll know how to be the calm in the storm. We would love dive deep with you and help you start to untangle that slimy root ball (which is way more fun than it sounds).

Not in town, or busy that day? No worries. I'll keep the podcasts and blog posts coming. I've got you covered because when we can nourish the entire flower, both above and below the surface, we connect with our whole selves and that is how it's meant to be.

Yours in courage and love,


 PS - Curious about the upcoming Self-Care Pop Up? Click here for details.