I used to be scared of you. Well, not you specifically, but I was scared of the vague collection of all the you’s who read my blog and emails.
I also used to be scared of people who visited my website and the people I met who asked me, “So, what do you do?”
Why would I be so scared of you?
I was fearful of being judged, rejected and misunderstood.
Here’s what I did for years. I would create an amazing program or coaching package. I would do all the hours and hours of behind the scenes work, crafting the language, making the visuals, putting all the pieces in place. And then I wouldn’t tell a soul.
That got frustrating for my big heart that just wanted to share and teach, so I upped my game. I thought if I really went all out and invested in something big, I would have to tell people because I would be motivated to make a return on my investment. I put a down payment on a retreat that I decided I was going to run in Costa Rica. I planned out the experience and, again, put all the pieces in place. And then I got scared. I mentioned it to a couple of people and then did nothing else. It was an expensive lesson.
It took experiences like that to realize that I had a variety of fears.
1- I was afraid of being judged as “salesy”.
2- I was afraid of people thinking I was greedy. It was much, much easier to give away my work for free (except when it came to telling my husband that I had yet again spent more money on taking classes and being coached myself than I had brought in; that was not so easy).
3- I was afraid of being rejected. For me, rejection had a physical experience like getting stabbed with a dagger in the heart (although that’s just a guess… I’ve obviously never actually had a dagger in my heart). Let’s just say that rejection was extremely painful.
And then two things happened.
Number 1: I started doing the Energy Codes work with Dr Sue Morter and my confidence started to grow through some specific breath work practices (I’ll be running a book study on that again sometime in the fall in case you could use a confidence boost too.)
Number 2: I chose a new word for myself. Many years ago, I learned from Brendon Burchard to have a 3 word standard, meaning you choose three words for yourself that will help you grow. Every day you check in with those words and see how you can rise to their occasion.
One of the words I chose is Audacious. I decided that if I was really going to help people, and if I was really going to make my Courageous Self-Care business work, I would need to become more audacious.
Thanks to those two things; increased confidence and a desire to become audacious, I started telling you about my offerings.
A few things have happened as a result. People started registering for my classes and courses which was incredibly exciting. I actually had people to teach who were invested! And they started saying things like, “My life has changed. Thank you for offering this class.”
Another thing that was already happening and still continues to happen is every time I send an email with an invitation, people unsubscribe. That used to be so painful for me that I used to pay someone to deal with the unsubscriptions. I couldn’t bear to look at them because I would feel so much rejection. Something shifted, though, because I don’t feel the same degree of intense feelings when people no longer want to hear from me. I can handle it. I think that comes with being audacious. (So if you’re reading this message and it’s time for you to go, no hard feelings :)
Part of me is still in awe that I’ve cultivated enough courage to consistently offer possibilities to you. An older version of myself had so much fear around your reaction that it held me back.
The newer version of me with the expanded comfort zone now deeply believes in what I offer. I know that everything I share is of incredible value, because not only has it dramatically impacted the lives of my clients, but because it’s transformed my own life. I only share what works effectively and efficiently.
All in all, I would say that doubt has been replaced by a deep knowing: I have something to offer and I know that it works. And so I’m going to keep inviting you into the most powerful work that I’ve ever experienced.
If you’re a big ol’ yes, then that’s great. And if you’re not, I’m not scared about that anymore. Fear no longer stops me from sharing my gifts and talents. I was born to write, to teach, to speak and to usher in transformation. Getting clear on that and embracing it has helped me become more courageous as well.
So there’s an inside peek at some of my own shifts. I know it can seem like I’ve got it all together and that I’ve got everything figured out, but I’m just like you. I have challenges to grow through, too, so I thought I would let you see behind the curtain.
I knew when I chose to have Courageous Self-Care be the title for my work, that there would be a lot of opportunities to become more courageous, which is why I specifically chose that word. The great news is that courage is contagious and the more we share stories of courage, the more empowered we become to let fear ride in the back seat, rather than be at the wheel of our lives.
With courageous love and loving courage,
Creator of Courageous Self-Care
Present, Audacious and Golden (all three of my words in case you were curious)
Moving in 2 weeks to our miraculous new home!
PS - Because I embrace audacity, I invite you to join me this Friday, June 25 for what promises to be an exceptional Self-Care Masterclass. You’ll learn exactly “What to Do with Jealousy, Judgment and Comparison”. And I’m offering a sliding scale for the first time ever. Get all the details here.