1/2 Year Review & What Sunshine on the Wall Reminded Me About Detachment

Before we dive into sunshine, walls and detachment, a brief announcement: The Courageous Self-Care 1/2 Year Review is coming up later this month. For more details on that, go to the Christina Recommends section below. You'll recognize it by the words Christina Recommends. 

And now back to detachment learned through sunshine on walls.

In our home, we have some east-facing windows through which the sun permeates the neighbours’ leafy trees every morning. The resulting reflection on our walls can be truly magical because not only are there the shapes of leaves and branches, the light is infused with the subtle grid of the screens over the windows. It creates a diffuse image that dances when there’s a breeze.

Here's an example of what it looks like, although when I asked my camera to focus, it said, "No thank you". You get the idea. 

One morning, I was captivated by such an image on the wall. The way the light shone through created a face of an elder. In some moments it looked like the face was speaking because the jaw part moved up and down as the leaves and branches shifted in the wind. Then the eyes started blinking. It was incredibly magical.

I was about to run down and get my kids to join me in witnessing the wonder of the dancing shadows but the image started to shift. I had the realization in that moment that this was a once-in-a-lifetime experience; it would likely never happen again in this particular way. 

And so I didn’t rush away. I savoured it for myself, marvelling at its impermanence. I really absorbed it and let it seep through my being so I would always be able to return to the feeling it evoked in me.

To Cling or Release; That is the Question

It occurred to me afterwards that this experience was so similar to many moments in life. The natural tendency is to want to cling to the incident and keep it going but that is impossible. Instead, the only option (that doesn’t produce the suffering of hanging on to the way things were) is to gather up how the occurrence made you feel and return to that part as often as you like using the blessing of your memory. 

Take meditation, for example. I’ve witnessed many people (myself included) go through a meditation and feel blissful. The very next words they often utter are, “I’m scared I won’t be able to hang on to this bliss.”  

Here’s the thing. We’re not meant to hold on to the bliss in that way. We’re meant to accept the impermanence of so many things in life and let them go. Trying to hold on causes suffering. Trying to recreate the exact same circumstance also creates suffering. Trying to hold on to how you thought things were going to be is another recipe for suffering. (Man, that mind is sure adept at creating suffering!)

Instead, all we can do is gather up the feeling of bliss (or happiness or peace or whatever it may have been) so that you can return to it as often as you like. You see, you don’t need that exact circumstance to feel the bliss because the bliss was already inside you. The experience reflects and reveals what was already there. 

Even if I never see the elder reflection in the sunlight on my wall again, I can return to the wonder and awe I felt when I saw it whenever I like - instantly. In fact, I’m feeling it right now. 

Become a Precious Moments Collector

I love to collect those precious moments as I go through the days and weeks so that I can return to them and feel all the good feelings they elicited. I know they will never happen in exactly the same way again and that’s okay. Suffering comes from attachment to the way we think things should be or should have turned out. If we can teach ourselves to accept the way things are, we can find peace and contentment, no matter what’s happening. (Yes, it’s absolutely a work in progress; simple but not necessarily easy.)

And get this. A few days later, I noticed a new reflection. It was the face of a tiger or some such wildcat or maybe a panda and it was also animated as the breeze ruffled the leaves and branches through the sunlight. I was thrilled. When I let go of the elder, predicting I would never see it again, I was completely okay with that. I hadn’t anticipated that I would see another spectacular image. What a blessing! Because I wasn’t pining to see the first image again, I was able to see the new gift.

If you look at the image as a whole, you might be able to get a glimpse of the hidden animal-like shadow.

When we’re attached to what we think should have happened or how we think things should be, it’s very easy to miss the gifts being hurtled our way. If we can accept change and trust that Infinite Intelligence knows what it’s doing, we remain much more open to beautiful gifts we never even anticipated could show up. 

Let your arms (and thus your heart) be wide open to life so that you capture and receive all the good that is showering down upon you. 

May you have a week of embracing what is and delighting in the good that’s already there. 

With exuberant love and tender courage,

Christina 

>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>Collector of magical moments

>Almost relieved of my driving duty to and from my daughter's school - one more exam and then Freedom for both of us - woohoo!

It’s that time of year again… We’re almost halfway through 2023 (can you believe it?) and that means it’s time for the creatively titled (drumroll) Courageous Self-Care 1/2 Year Review. (At least you know exactly what it is.)

If you feel like:

• you’re always on the go 
• that your life is very busy and stressful
• there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day 
• you kind of have that ‘wind-blown look’ 

… then this workshop will help you get a handle on things.

One of the key teachings in Courageous Self-Care is to create a better relationship with time, and one way to do that is to look to the past with gratitude (rather than regret and doubt) and towards the future with anticipation and excitement (rather than fear and worry).

During this 90-ish minute done-with-you session, you’ll get practical experience in honouring what has already happened so far this year, and then we’ll set some intentions for the next quarter of 2023 so that you know what to do next. 

You can expect to leave the call with: 

• Increased clarity (so you can make plans that align with your values and thus feel more fulfilled - three cheers for feeling fulfilled!)
• More energy (because we’ll be doing fun things like dancing and celebrating)
• A sense of refreshment (because we’ll be taking a break from all the go-Go-GO!)
• The realization that you’ve had more success than you gave yourself credit for (and it’s always so good to be even more kind and gentle with yourself)

You’ll feel so organized and proud of yourself for taking action toward the life you really want to be living.

The Details

Date: Saturday June 24

Time: 8am Pacific/ 9am Mountain/ 11am Eastern

Duration: 90ish wonderful minutes (possibly closer to 2 hours if we’re really rockin’ it)

Cost: $47

How to Register: click the registration link below and you’ll get all the important details by email

What you’ll need for the session: 

-journal and pen

-a nice drink (like lemon water)

-your calendar/planner

-some space to move (because we won’t be sitting the whole time) (I’m adamantly opposed to ‘numb bum’)

-a candle to light if you feel so inclined

I’m really excited to share the powerful process with you (if it’s a fit, of course). If you’re like “Um, no” then you can trust it’s not for you right now.

And if you’re like “I would love to come but I’m already booked,” then please register anyway and I’ll send you a link to the recording. Because I’m nice like that.

Yes! I really need this ½ Year Review!

Do you know Rufus Wainwright? I do. Not personally, but I have been to one of his concerts, so that's almost the same.

Back in my teaching dance days, I used much of his music because it’s just so evocative. Some of it’s creepy, some of it’s thought-provoking, some of it makes you wonder… what is he saying?

At any rate, it all makes you feel something, which is the sign of great art, no?

Here’s a gorgeous song called Poses. I can’t help but sing along as it rises and crescendoes into the chorus. (Listening as I write this - and singing of course - which leads to numerous typos.) 

One thing I love about this song is that he uses the word fetching. I don’t think I’ve heard that word in any other song ever. (If you have, let me know which other song has it please!)

Listen to Poses by Rufus Wainwright on iTunes

Listen to Poses by Rufus Wainwright on Spotify