1/4 Year Review + The Surprise in Letting Go

First off, the end of the first quarter of the year is upon us. Wowee!

Although that might sound like a financial-fiscally-type thing, I’m more interested in growth, expansion, celebration and conscious intention setting. (There won’t be a spreadsheet in sight!)

That’s why I’m once again hosting the Courageous Self-Care 1/4 Year Review. These reviews are the antidote to overwhelm and an effective way to turn your inner critic into a supportive superfan. 

For more details, see the Christina Recommends section further down.

And now onto the main event for today’s message: The Surprise in Letting Go

Have you heard the expression that attachment is the root of all suffering?

When I first learned about that concept, I thought it referred to an attachment to things or people. 

Although that’s definitely part of it, what I’ve learned since is that it’s our attachment to our thoughts that really causes the suffering… being attached to your thoughts and believing they are true. 

Oh, the agony of believing your thoughts are true. The heartache that ensues… 

And the freedom that’s available when you see your thoughts for what they truly are?

Delicious.

These ideas surfaced for me the other day when something unexpected happened. 

First, we have to rewind about 15 years. 

One Time, During the Olden Days

Back in the day when I used to listen to the radio, I heard a poem that I remember to this day because it was so bittersweet. (Well, I don’t remember the words perse but I do recall the gist of it.)

The poem was called something like The Last Time and it was from a parent’s point of view, exploring the poignancy of never knowing when it will be the last time something happens as your little one grows up. 

It spoke of how you wouldn’t know that it’s the last time your child would hold your hand or kiss you on the lips or call you Mommy or Daddy. When I first heard it, I thought it was so sad.

However, it also helped me be in gratitude as my kids got older and to be present with those little things that I might otherwise have taken for granted. 

Of course, not all of the last times were sad. Last diaper change… woohoo! Last time cleaning out the potty? Hallelujah! Last time putting away the highchair that folded in the most convoluted and confusing way… yippee!

What I was learning to do without knowing it was to detach. Just because we have to let go of something doesn’t mean we need to suffer. The perspective I decided to take with my kids was that although some things were disappearing, new and wonderful things were appearing and I could celebrate those rather than regretting and focusing on the losses.

What you focus on expands and so if you focus on the loss and how things used to be (or how you think they should be), you’ll likely suffer more than you need to. If you focus on what you’re welcoming in and celebrate the new changes that show up, you’ll benefit from those uplifting vibrations.

Back to attachment to your thoughts. If you choose to believe that growing up, changing and letting go are hard, they will be. 

If you choose to believe that the changes are graceful, expansive and rewarding, they will be. 

Back to the Surprise in Letting Go

Here’s where the unexpected came in. 

I didn’t grieve the last time I tied my kids’ shoes or gave them a bath or clipped their fingernails. I chose to celebrate that they could do those things for themselves and that time and space were gifted to me as they took on those tasks.

Last week, I shared in my message that Zoe broke her elbow. (She will be getting surgery on Thursday - please send blessings should you feel inclined to do so.) 

Although it’s been challenging to have temporarily lost her mobility and the expression that comes through her right hand, there have been gifts. 

As it turns out, even though I thought it was the last time for a number of ways to express my love for Zoe, it wasn’t! 

As Zoe continues to evolve and increase her capacity to ask for and receive help, I got to do some things for her that I haven’t done in a long time. 

I got to braid her hair, tie her shoes, help her on with her coat and even clip her fingernails. (We needed a whole new setup for that because she was too big to sit on my lap like she used to.)

Boy, did I cherish those moments. As it turned out, I didn’t have to believe the thoughts that anything was the last time. You just never know where life will take you. 

Another “Not the Last Time”

An additional interesting development is that because my dad is having a dementia experience, he’s become unstable while walking and likes for someone to hold his hand. 

After many decades, I’m now holding my dad’s hand when we walk together. I never thought we’d do that again, but here we are. 

Bringing It All Together

All this to say that I didn’t need to buy into the sadness of “the last time” or of letting go. 

What you do need to buy into is the gift of developing your ability to be present, to feel grateful and to not take things for granted. 

I like to see right now as the “good old days”. Ten years from now will also be the good old days. Same as thirty years from now. It’s always the good old days. 

There’s no need to get attached to things staying the same. Likewise, we don’t need to believe the erroneous thoughts that letting go is hard or that the changes are permanent. 

Instead, we want to be able to let go gracefully and stay open to being surprised and delighted by where life takes us. There is goodness available no matter what. You just have to believe that it’s there and look for evidence of how it’s showing up. 

May you have a week filled with graceful letting go and celebrating the gifts that are showing up. 

With glowing love and illuminating courage, 

Christina

>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>Thrilled to tell you that oat milk ice cream is just as good, if not better than dairy ice cream. Even my kids said so and they are major non-ice cream critics. Try it - I think you'll love it too. 

>Favourite hot drink of the moment: chaga tea with honey; sensationally nourishing and delicious

Announcing the Courageous Self-Care 1/4 Year Review 2024

Do you feel like:

• you’re always on the go 
• that your life is very busy and stressful
• there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day 
• you kind of have that ‘wind-blown look’ 
• your inner critic is running rampant
• you could improve your ability to be kind and loving toward yourself
• there’s room for more celebrating in your life?

If yes, the 1/4 Year Review will help you get a handle on things.

One of the key teachings in Courageous Self-Care is to create a better relationship with time, and one way to do that is to look to the past with gratitude (rather than regret, doubt or criticism) and toward the future with anticipation and excitement (rather than fear and worry).

During this 90-minute workshop-style call, you’ll get practical experience in honouring what has already happened so far this year, and then we’ll set some intentions for the next quarter of 2024 so that you know what to do next. 

You can expect to leave the session with: 

• Increased clarity (so you can make plans that align with your values and thus feel more fulfilled)
• More energy (because we’ll be doing fun things like dancing and celebrating)
• A sense of refreshment (because we’ll be taking a break from all the go-go-GO!)
• The realization that you’ve had more success than you gave yourself credit for

You’ll also feel so organized and proud of yourself for taking action towards the life you really want to be living.

For more details and to register, click here

*If you’ve already registered for Soulful Time Management - 1 Year of Reviews, you’re already in and will receive details by email so watch your inbox for that. 

Sometimes, I’ll be out and about and a song will stop me in my tracks. When that happens, I quickly rifle through my purse for my phone and hit the Shazam button as quickly as I can mobilize my little thumb so I can add the artist to my library. 

Such was the case when I was recently setting up to teach yoga. A song was playing on a playlist and it tugged on my heartstrings. I had to have it!

Fortunately, after running around the studio to find my phone and get close enough to the speaker the Shazaming was successful so now I can share it with you. (Fortunately, no students were there yet.)

As I shared a few weeks ago, I adore the cello and so I’m thrilled about this new-to-me artist.

Cellomano is oh-so soul-satisfying. Prepare for your heart to sing along and for your soul to glow. 

Here’s one I love. It’s gorgeous!

Listen to Sunrise by Cellomano on iTunes

Listen to Sunrise by Cellomano on Spotify