The Hidden Benefits of Asking for Help (aka Magical Jeans Shopping)

Happy End of February! I’m always thrilled about the end of the month because I love the fresh start that’s right around the corner. Hooray for new things!

I had an experience recently that showed me how wonderful it is to ask for help. I thought I would share it with you because maybe you’re under the impression that asking for help is a sign of weakness. 

Or maybe you think that independence is where it’s at.

Or perhaps you believe that it’s more efficient just to do everything yourself. 

(I’ve definitely been there on all three of those misconceptions.)

My lesson on asking for help came in the wonderful package of shopping for jeans. (Up until last week, that phrase would have made me shudder. And my lip curl. And my eye twitch. Quite a visual. I hope you’ve tried it out for yourself.) 

Have you ever experienced challenges whilst buying new jeans? I have. So much so that the last time I bought jeans was approximately 10 years ago… a wonderful pair of jeggings from the Bay that have certainly put in their time. When the butt of jeggings starts to sag, you know that they’re done. My devoted pair were done for a while but I was dreading replacing them, so I just wore lots of long sweaters to hide the sag. Then the knees kind of gave out so truly it could not be postponed any further.

My first lesson in asking for help was that I (eventually) went to the experts. (Sometimes I still operate under the old paradigm of “I can do it all myself!”)  After several failed attempts at my go-to consignment stores, I headed to Espy, a store in Calgary that specializes in jeans. Plus, all of their employees are stylists. I figured it was worth a shot. 

I wandered in and made my way to the jeans area. It is very well stocked so I didn’t have a clue where to start. There were jeans from floor to ceiling. I tried to figure it out but when a lovely human asked if I needed some help, I gave in. 

“Yes! I need help,” I said. “I have no idea where to start. Jeans rarely fit me and I don’t know what I want.”

“Okay,” said Mac, my new stylist friend. “What colour do you like?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is there a colour you don’t want?” he asked patiently. 

“I don’t really want dark jeans. Also, I have some light ones so something in between.”

 “Great! Do you like high-waisted or low-waisted?”

 “Well… I don’t like high-waisted and I don’t like it to be too low either.” (That’s probably a total mom answer, but that’s okay, since I’m a mom.)

“Do you know what length?”

“Not really.”

“Okay,” Mac said, remaining patient, “What size are you?”

“I don’t really know that either but the last time a bought jeans that weren’t a medium (jeggings), I think they were a 29 or 30.”

“Super. I’ll pull out some styles for you and you can just start trying them on.”

Guess what? Every single pair I tried on fit! And looked great! Some pairs were even too big (which almost never happened when I was left to my own jean-choosing devices).

It was so helpful to have Mac there because he shared some great tips such as showing me when the jeans were too big, how they would stretch out and where the ideal spot is for the bottom of the pockets. (Pro tip: if the bottom of the pockets goes past the crease of your butt cheeks, your derriere will look saggy. Who knew? I didn’t. Thank goodness I asked for help!)

In record time, I found three pairs I loved. After some debate, I narrowed it down to two. Both pairs needed to be hemmed (a service they provide at no extra charge, which I may not have known without help), so I got them pinned, paid for my purchase and left the shop on cloud nine. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy after shopping for jeans. 

The Lessons

Here are my learnings from asking for help (that apply to jean-shopping and any other circumstance too):

• It took some courage; there was a part of me that was still convinced I would do better on my own. That part can be very persistent but is also very wrong.
• I saved time. Heaps of it.
• I eliminated overwhelm. I didn’t have to look for anything. Mac expertly narrowed it down for me.
• I learned new and helpful tips I wouldn’t have discovered on my own.
• And perhaps most importantly, I made a connection with another human being that felt amazing. By allowing Mac to share his passion, I felt energized and delighted.
• Plus, I ended up with something I never would have even tried otherwise; high-waisted dark jeans that feel even better than my jeggings. They feel like leggings! Or pyjamas!

 There’s one more super important point: I put on my new jeans after picking them up this weekend and they look amazing. For me to think that jeans look amazing on my body is nothing short of a miracle. 

Essentially, when you ask for help, expect miracles. Who needs independence? I’d rather look and feel amazing, whether it’s in jeans or in some other life circumstance. It was so worth it to go outside of my comfort zone and ask for help.

May you be inspired to invite in some help this week too. It takes great strength to ask and even more to receive. Truly empowered people are vulnerable enough to ask for help. 

With mighty love and potent courage,

Christina

>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>Owner of two new spectacular pairs of jeans

>Non-owner of saggy decade-old jeggings

PS - Join me for Body Awake Yoga on zoom this Friday at 9:15am Mountain for an hour. Or watch the replay at your leisure. Not yet part of the Body Awake Yoga Community? Register at no cost here.

PPS - We’ve been in 2023 for almost a quarter of a year. Crazy right? I’ll be hosting a Quarter Year Review later this month. Details to follow. For now, if you want to gather up all the goodness from the year so far in a conscious way and then make intentional plans for the next quarter, mark your calendar for 9am Mountain/8am Pacific on Saturday March 18.

For the last few months, I have been obsessed with the historical fiction I’ve been reading. OBSESSED. I love these books so much and I’m almost done which is twinging my heart to know that these characters will no longer be my daily companions. 

I highly recommend The Expected One and The Book of Love by Kathleen McGowan. Every few pages, I’ve turning to my husband and saying, “GUESS WHAT!?!” and then sharing all these fascinating tidbits I didn’t know about Mary Magdalene, Matilda of Tuscany, Marie Antoinette and other important women who have been suppressed by history’s lack of recording the truth.

One idea that’s examined is: History isn’t what happened; it’s what got written down, usually by men in power with either a political or religious agenda. I always love learning behind the scenes information and there’s a plethora of it in this series. I give it 4 thumbs up (not because I have 4 thumbs, but I’d certainly raise them if I had extras).

Check out the Kindle Version here (Amazon.ca)

The Expected One Kindle

Check out the Paperback Version here (Amazon.ca)

The Expected One Paperback

Or get it at your library or used book store 🙂