Lessons from My New Driver

Uncategorized Nov 21, 2023

Hello and Happy mid-November,

This is not a Black Friday message 🙂

Instead, I would love to share with you a lovely moment that happened a few days ago with my 18-year-old daughter, Zoe, who just got her driver’s license.

She was driving along with me in the passenger seat and after she changed lanes, she said, “That was an excellent lane change!”

To which I replied, “If you do say so yourself!”

Zoe said, “Well, I figure if I criticize myself for making mistakes out loud when I’m driving, then I should also compliment myself out loud to even it out.”

My heart was so happy in that moment. It’s always a great day when you see (or hear) evidence that what you’ve been saying to your kids for years is sinking in. 

Persistence pays off - whether it’s with yourself or someone else in your life. And so I ask you (and myself) where can we be persistent this week? Where can we lean in and keep going because we know we’re on track and the evidence of the effort is just around the corner?

I’m not talking about forcing, striving or pushing. There’s a subtle difference that just comes with experience and awareness of the difference between what it feels like to swim upstream and what it feels like to lean in. 

How to Tell the Difference

The difference I’ve noticed is the feeling. When you’re forcing, striving or pushing, there’s a certain feeling. It’s ego-based and coming from the ‘performing personality”. There can be an attachment to something (particularly the outcome). 

When you’re leaning into the flow, it feels different. It’s soul-based and there’s less (or no) attachment to the outcome. The benefit is in the creation and the process. 

The only way you can know the difference (in my experience anyway) is awareness first of all and then practice. 

May you have a week of leaning into the process and deepening your ability to discern between the protective personality and the soulful self. 

With persistent love and ardent courage,


>Creator of Courageous Self-Care

>Gradually getting used to the big change of Zoe driving

>(Cried when she drove on her own for the first time) (And hired lots of heavenly helpers for her and for me)

What I’m recommending to you (and to myself) this week is to notice what nature is doing and to align with the messages it’s conveying. 

In my neck of the woods, we’re transitioning from fall to winter. Fall is a time of harvesting and then letting go. Winter is a time of turning inward and slowing down. There’s more darkness and a call for deeper rest. 

When we do the exact opposite of nature, we tend to have issues and receive reminders to get more aligned (since we are part of nature after all).  

I’ve been noticing subtle guidance to go within through meditation and mindful movement (like yoga) and to leave open spaces on my calendar. I keep getting messages to slow down and so I’m getting curious about how to do that and asking for Divine Guidance when it doesn’t seem possible. 

Let’s take a collective nice deep breath and exhale over the next few months. I’m opening up to receive the gifts of winter and I hope you will too (unless you’re in the midst of summer, in which case postpone this recommendation for later :)

I felt like something really peaceful and calming to share with you today. (Maybe because I’m trying to develop a liking for chamomile tea and I’m sipping some right now.)

This week’s song comes from an album that my husband likes to put on and I’m always so grateful because it’s gorgeous and soothing.

The album is called Illumination by Dan Gibson’s Solitudes. Really, any song on this album is beautiful so consider this song a great place to start. It’s called Gradual and Alleluia and it’s invigorating and relaxing at the same time. Enjoy. 

Listen to Gradual and Alleluia on iTunes

Listen to Gradual and Alleluia on Spotify