Emotional suppression is the root of pretty much all illness, dis-ease, chronic issues and injuries.
It stands to reason then, that one would wish to learn how to not suppress emotions, right?
I’ve got 2 related stories to tell you and then I’ll share how to receive emotions rather than push them away.
Ready? OK! (that totally reminded me of the very brief stint I had as a cheerleader in grade 7)
I received an email from someone last week who informed me that she would be unsubscribing from my messages due to the misinformation I spread in that particular email.
My mind went through a whole reel of reasons why I shouldn’t take her message personally. This is the cheerleader part of my mind. Let’s call her Star.
“It says more about her than it does about you,” Star tried to convince me.
“It’s good for people to unsubscribe when they no longer want to hear from you.”
“You don’t need to feel hurt. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
Star also wanted me to know that I was right and the unsubscriber was wrong.
“There was no misinformation there!” Star assured me.
After a while, I realized that although Star meant well, she was trying to logic me out of what I was actually feeling, which was the pain of rejection. Rejection hurts. I know that. I’ve experienced A LOT of it. And most of the time, I still somehow try to avoid that pain until I realize that the only way through it is to feel it.
I’ll share my feeling the feels process after story #2. Which is coming right now.
On the other end of the spectrum, I realized that I was also suppressing feelings that are supposed to feel really good!
This past week, I reflected back to when I used to get so excited about the magic of Christmas that I could hardly stand it. As a teenager, I decided to purposefully not feel that excitement any more and so I suppressed it. I still did it this year! That's a lot of years of suppression...
In another positive vibe experience, I had a call with a potential client and we really clicked. I sent her a proposal and felt so good about it. Another part of my mind (this part is called Talula - yes she’s back!) warned me not to get carried away. She told me not to feel too excited because if it didn’t work out then it would hurt more. Talula’s a big fan of not getting my hopes up.
I had one of those lightbulb moments when I noticed that if I downplay the good feelings, I’m going to miss out on feeling the good feelings. (That seems so obvious in print, but in my mind it was a major discovery.)
I decided to really feel the excitement because the joy helped me be present in that particular moment without letting fear creep in about the future. I realized that even if disappointment was going to happen later, it was worth feeling the good without muting it.
On both ends of the spectrum, the key here is to receive the feelings, not push them away. Both Star and Talula make good points, but what’s more important is to embrace what’s true, rather than trying to change it with willpower or logic.
I’ve shared this before and I’m going to share it again, because clearly, even though I teach this stuff, reminders are helpful.
How to Receive Emotions in 5 Lovely Steps
The most important thing about this process is that you’re not doing it to make the emotion go away. You’re doing it to give the emotion and its corresponding sensations your full attention with love. That’s how you integrate.
I hope that’s helpful for you.
Happy End of the Year. I’ll “see” you again when everything is fresh and new and all 2021.
With skies full of love and pyramids of courage,
PS - The Conscious New Year’s Eve Celebration is happening on Dec 31st. If you feel like you need to cleanse this year’s energy in a sacred, meaningful and powerful way, please join us. Details are here. Or click the image below.